The 15 Minute Dating Blog

by Gregory Smith.

As a single person, we all make mistakes out in the dating world. If you are freshly single, you tend to make some fairly stupid mistakes related to etiquette – like assuming too much about a woman or a relationship, or being nervous, or not really knowing what you are doing, etc. For those of us who have been around the block once or twice (ha), being someone’s WORST DATE EVER takes on a whole new meaning. Although it can be quite an accidental art form, in most cases it is just flat out stupid. Part of the majesty of being single is one’s ability to go out and make dumb mistakes … not repeat them … and hopefully laugh about them later. As long as you learn from your mistakes, you’re fine.

I’ve lived with my present girlfriend for several years – and I’d say this relationship (among other things) brings me stability. Prior to her, however, I went through phases where I found myself in various highly entertaining situations … not all of which turned out well. For example, what I’m about to describe is an evening where I’m quite positive I turned out to be THE WORST DATE EVER for the woman I was out with. I, myself, have been out with different women who could compete for being MY worst date … but I thought it would be fun today (New Year’s Day) to write something critical about myself. ;o)

Cindy was a tall good-looking redhead – several inches taller than me, in fact. I had known Cindy for roughly ten years … and for quite some time our relationship consisted of us hooking up maybe once or twice a year for a date which almost always ended up in screaming hot sex. I didn’t see her more than maybe twice a year because she lived in Santa Barbara – which made her “geographically undesirable” in terms of being a regular girlfriend or lover. Neither of us wanted to trade in our respective jobs and move – as we just weren’t that interested in one another. We had sex … great sex … but that was where our mutual interest ended. She was also pretty fun to party with – we’d usually go out to a restaurant or club, and party pretty well before the real entertainment got started at either her place, or at my hotel.

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Have you ever been in a date that you know is headed in a train wreck but you don’t exactly know how to escape? This video offered some tips on how you can get out from a bad date without making too much of a fuss. My personal favorite? The fake allergies!

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by Samantha Jacobs.

He was a few clowns short of a circus, and had a mop of curls on his head that could easily be mistaken for a miniature poodle. Nonetheless, I was attracted; apparently, so was he.

We started dating in my sophomore year of high school. We were hooked up through a particularly heinous form of online dating: the “Instant Message Blind Date.” Here’s how it works: a (hopefully) well-intentioned mutual friend sells you on each other and exchanges your screen names. Voila, dinner and a movie via AOL.

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by Andy Cowan.

As with the early days of live TV, the early days of “live women” are starting to seem like a quaint remnant from yesteryear, yet another golden age we didn’t know was golden until it faded away with our memories. I admit that most of the ladies who’ve been “communicating” with me lately have been prerecorded – as when I recently answered the phone and heard, “Hi, this is Wendy! Great news!” It would be greater news if the Wendy in my life wasn’t an automaton.

My most serious relationship with a virtual woman – My voicemail secretary. Unfortunately, I know she’s been two, three and four-timing me with other guys, and women, after I reach their voicemail and hear her busily answering their phones while busy not answering mine. But at least she sounds as detached with them as she does with me. (I was starting to take it personally.)

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by Karen Rodriguez

I was 24 years old and divorced living in a house with six other flight attendants, with only a laptop and a suitcase as my real processions. However, that wasn’t the worst part. I was now at the airport being picked up by my first date via Myspace, which is a current site being used by people who were too broke to pay any fees at a real dating site. Surely, this was a recipe for disaster, but having found love and marriage so quickly at a young age once makes me an eternal romantic.

His name was Peter. He was 26 years old, divorced, with a 5 year old daughter, and working at a hardware store. Amazing the potential suitors you can find by just typing in your zip code while including a twenty mile radius. Even if we did not have movies, passions, and interests in common, we had divorce, starting over and heartache to dwell on. Soon after, what followed were the awkward first phone calls. After the second week of phone conversations he let me know he told his daughter that he had a new girlfriend. This should have set off an alarm in my head. Instead I was flattered. A flight attendant’s life could at times be very lonely, and a friendly voice during a layover in Alaska or Kuwait was better than watching an episode of the Golden Girls.

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by Ed Attanasio

Because I am a writer, many of my friends ask me all the time to write their online profiles to post on dating web sites. I always feel like it’s a big commitment — kind of like writing someone’s resume or biography. There’s a lot at stake and the pressure to write something really good about someone can be very exhausting, because many of my friends are highly dysfunctional. How do you effectively describe the essence of a human being in just a few paragraphs? Without lying or opening yourself up to a civil suit?

I must admit, I have gotten pretty adept at it over the years. The secret to writing a great profile is to emphasize the good things about people while minimizing their shortcomings. Stretching the truth slightly is no crime and many people do it.

No matter how bad or messed up some people are, you can usually find something positive to write about them. They say that Attila the Hun was really nice to his elephants (“loves animals”). Hitler was a vegetarian (“healthy and fit”). And legend has it that Genghis Khan took really good care of his fu manchu (“well-groomed”).

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by Paul G Akins Jr.

Dating can be summed up in one word, annoying. The whole process and all of the games involved irritate the hell out of me. Which is why when my friends suggested that I give online dating a try I politely said hell no.

But after about a month of harassment and ridicule I signed up to a few sites to test my luck. I was surprised by the shear number of sites and how many lonely and horny women there are out there. All just waiting for Mr. Right, but for right now they’ll settle for Mr. Big Johnson and Sir Quick Tongue.

I met a few women online but one stands out. Her names was, well you don’t really need to know her name—besides it was bootyluscious or lickous or something. Her real name wasn’t important, however her butt was. From the pictures she had on her site this girl had a nice big, juicy, yet firm butt.

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by Sara Hodon.

Online dating is not for the faint of heart. It’s good if you post a profile but don’t have the highest expectations in the world, because more often than not, you’ll be disappointed. But if you’re considering trying it—congratulations! You’re far braver than about 80% of the single population out there.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m no stranger to the world of online dating. Though I haven’t met a bona fide, “Okay-I-must-be-leaving-now-because-you’re-too-weird-for-words” wacko, I’ve definitely had my share of bad experiences. The hard part is just getting through the date itself. This can be tricky, particularly if you seemed to hit it off so well when you first started talking. Sadly, my friends, a person can post as many pictures as they want, but until you experience the real thing, you can truly only take a picture at face value.

So the real question remains—how do you make it past those awkward moments on a first date?

Unfortunately, I really don’t recommend jumping out of the bathroom window—that is, unless you absolutely have no other choice. As a wise man once said, sometimes you just have to suck it up. It is possible to meet The One online (I know plenty of people who have), but it’s a lot like shopping for bargains—the trick is to sort through the rejects until you get to the one worth keeping.

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by E. Tracy Coker.

After several weeks of searching through the internet dating site I subscribed to, “Carl” (whose name has been changed) sent me a little message saying hello; from his profile and the things he said, he seemed like a nice guy. After a few days of e-mailing and a single phone call, Carl asked me to meet him at a subway station for a first date.

I was looking forward to this date. Carl not only seemed enthusiastic to meet me, but he was intelligent and seemingly down to Earth, as well. The real test was going to see if he looked anything like his picture.

I was a college student looking for a stable and loving relationship. He was a college graduate staying in Boston to attend dental school with the desire of becoming a dentist and opening his own practice. I’m no gold digger, but what girl doesn’t love an ambitious suitor?

Standing outside of the subway entrance, I watched people passing by, anxiously wondering which one of them would be Carl; finally, he emerged. He was handsome, just the right height for me, and I could feel our chemistry click. What I relief! Or so I thought.

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by Jason Nellis.

A warning to men everywhere: Don’t be stupid. I’ll be the first to admit, I am not, nor can I ever be, the perfect date or boyfriend. In fact, sometimes, I’ve been downright moronic. Chalk it up to being male (a commonly-blamed attribute), young (though this tends to shift—the older I get, the younger I claim to be), or impetuous (or, really, more like ADD, because—hey, look, a kitty cat!). Whatever the case may be, I’m not without faults. Most of the time, I end up getting myself into heaps of trouble by ignoring them rather than admitting to them.

Let me explain:

At the beginning of my junior year of college, I met a girl named Deanna. She was a freshman straight out of the South, twang and all. She was only four foot eleven, so I towered about a foot over her, but I found that more endearing than funny. She also called me on whatever BS I happened to be spewing (usually when I made outrageous claims to get attention, like “I invented the stapler.” I’m like that sometimes).

She was very cute, and I was very interested. So, of course, I made a move.

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by Andy Cowan.

WHY does perpetuating the species seem to hinge on hooking up with a person who inevitably has at least one major character flaw? Maybe it’s because if you stumbled upon someone who was absolutely perfect, you’d die.

But what if you lived? Like a dog chasing a car, would you even know what to do at the end of the chase?

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by Deb Preece.

I have been on-line dating for years and my experiences have been everything from instant infatuation to the most horrendous escape out a bathroom window you could possibly have imagined. The one date that comes to my mind was a dance I was meeting a gentleman at whom I had spoken with on line. We had a most wonderful time and after we escaped up into the canyons of Utah for a view of a waterfall and a couple of “smooches”. He took me back to my car (which by the way had just had its breaks done the day before the 50 mile travel to meet my new “beau”).

Driving home, dressed in black hose, red (sexy to say the least) dress and 2 inch heels, I was approaching a light, when all of a sudden the left front tire of my car falls of, sparks are flying everywhere, my car axel is dragging on the ground going 40 miles per hour, and my tire proceeds to roll across the center of the street, across the opposite traffic and down an embankment. I slam on my breaks and for a moment really wondered what had just happened. As I got my wits about me, I opened my door and saw that my tire had actually fallen off my car. Of course, with my deep knowledge of tire and car repair (if it can’t be fixed with a band aid and a pair of high heels, I’m in trouble). I just stood in the middle of University Avenue at 1:30 AM in the morning and started to cry.

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by Erin Steiner.

The other night I was making dinner when, from the other room, I heard my boyfriend say “Welcome to Warsong Gulch.” I paused, halfway bent into the oven and thought to myself, “Why do I know that name?” I flipped through my mental rolodex of places that it might be but couldn’t find a visual to match. I knew I’d heard that name before and the words brought up a vaguely Chernobyl-ish picture, but I knew that had to be wrong. I must have stood there for a good fifteen minutes, driving myself crazy, trying to figure out where on the planet Warsong Gulch was located. After all, if the name was so familiar, there must be a reason. Finally, I went into the other room and asked my boyfriend “Where is Warsong Gulch?”

Turning around, and looking at me with what can only be described as an incredulous look on his face, he said “Um. It’s a place on my game?” His voice said “how the heck do you know about Warsong Gulch?”

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by Maureen Shaw.

I received an email this week from one of our members at SexyAds.com that left me reeling. Now if you’ve never visited our site, we allow our members to write pretty much whatever they want in their personal ads or blogs or forum posts and as the name implies, sometimes it’s of an adult nature. So today this guy gets an email from a woman who’s been a member for more than 6 months and has logged in 298 times. She writes:

Now don’t get me wrong, being single can can often does have its advantages and after a while I’d get used to it, but never in my wildest imagination could I say the oxymoronic “I’m happily single.” I could go with reluctantly single or unfortunately single or better yet contentedly single. I just couldn’t figure out what this woman thought she was doing on an adult personals site if she was happily single AND permanently celibate.

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Here’s is a humorous article regarding one man’s futile attempts to get any one to respond to his dating profile.

The 5 Stages of Online Dating

Throughout this hopeless but somewhat comical ordeal, the author’s personal profile gradually went through these 5 stages:

Stage 1: The Actual Truth Stage
Stage 2: The “Fudging the Truth” Stage
Stage 3: The “Blatant Lying” Stage
Stage 4: The “Screw You Bastards” Stage
Stage 5: The “Giving Up On Society” Stage

Who says online dating is not fun?

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by Ed Attanasio.

I was very skeptical about entering the world of online dating when I initially signed up with match.com. As a 48-year-old single male with more issues than Reader’s Digest, my expectations were understandably low to start with. I’ve never been married, I don’t have any kids and my best friend is my shrink. I decided early on that I would probably be satisfied having a relationship with someone who simply had fewer problems than I did.

I had heard both horror stories as well as wondrous tales about the online dating experience, some undoubtedly as much fiction as truth, and all of them left me extremely tentative about entering the fray. One woman I know went on 26 online dates before meeting a suitable mate, whom she eventually married. I admired her thoroughness and determination. When I went to purchase a new car, I only looked at about five vehicles before making a decision. This gal kicked more emotional tires than I can count on all my appendages combined, which means she’s either a.) a complete control freak, b.) very high maintenance. c.) desperate as hell.

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by Mary Powers.

Internet dating can be tricky, you never know if the person is telling the whole truth. Often people fudge on minor details. For example, I tell people I am 30 when I am really 33. Maybe today I’m 130 pounds, but yesterday I was 145 pounds. Little white lies can be expected, but what happened next made me question disclosure ethics in the world of online dating.

I met Miguel online in a dating chat room. He appeared to be funny, sweet, and interesting. After chatting for a few weeks, we agreed to meet in person for a real date.

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by Dan Burke.

Let me just say this first: I am no authority on the so-called “gold diggers”. In other words, I have been fortunate so far not to date anyone who is interested in me solely for my money, nor had I dated anyone who took off with what little money I had. Yet I was able to come up with this extensive list rather effortlessly. How did I come up with this list so easily, you ask? It is probably because of fear of losing the money I need to eat, pay my rent, and pay my student loans. It also could be because I am so sick of hearing about these “celebutants” whose every move is thrown into the faces of Americans whether they want to hear about it or not. Either way, I surprised myself when I was able to come up with not 10, not 20, but a whopping fifty indications.

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by Ed Attanasio.

Some call it the “Sugar Daddy Syndrome.” Others call it the “Father was never around” complex. A lot of people have no problem with it, while many find it sick and perverted. Regardless of your own personal views, young women dating older men is a worldwide phenomenon that is gaining popularity and acceptance at an alarming rate.

Why do young women like older men? What attracts 20-something females to 40, 50, even 60-something males? You could spend several hundred hours with a series of shrinks in an attempt to sort through the plethora of possible answers. The only problem with that is that most psychiatrists are expensive and love the term “billable hours.” It would cost thousands of dollars to find out the truth.

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by Karen Boss.

Baseball season and dating season begin at the same time. Most people (especially those of us who have suffered a long winter) find that when spring begins its slow crawl - and our favorite team starts winning, we are ready to begin anew our search for a perfect mate for the long summer days and even longer summer nights.

Dating (and baseball) season has only been open since April, and already I’m losing steam. I am no Dice-K, that’s for damn sure.

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