The 15 Minute Dating Blog

by Rori Raye.

I was 12 years older than him, but we didn’t know it. It was a long time ago, and I’ll always think I almost married him - white picket fence and all.

I met him in a computer store, in the early days of computers, when I was an actress writing screenplays, and he made his living pulling the backs off computers and switching the parts around inside before he closed them back up.

On our first date, the chemistry was through the roof, but the conversation was stiff and almost weird, as though we were in two different Universes trying to discover a common language.

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by Katy Franklin.

In my last article, “The Dealbreaker,” someone posted a comment suggesting my next one be about “DealMAKERS.” I thought that was a great idea. Instead of being so negative, and discussing how guys can turn us off, I wanted to show some ways in which guys can turn us ON. So now, I give you “Dealmakers,” otherwise known as 50 things guys can do to make us smile, make us sit up and pay attention, make us think twice about them, or even make us fall in love with them.

He has great teeth

He opens the car door for you (even if you’d rather get it yourself, you have to admit it’s a sweet, old-fashioned gesture.)

He asks your drink and then gets one for you

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by Jerry Whiting.

To say that internet dating has changed being single is an understatement. Heck, it’s even changed cheating. One searches the other’s email, text messages, voicemail, IM, MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Flickr, whatever, and busts them.

Online dating harbors little of the stigma it once did. One is no longer labeled a loser for using the net to hunt/shop/forage. As craigslist has undermined newspaper classifieds and travel sites have dealt a blow to travel agents, online dating sites like match.com, nerve, eHarmony, et al. have unraveled traditional face-to-face dating. Are you ashamed to tell family and friends how you met your latest mate? Speaking of which, how honest are you online when you described yourself? How honest were they?

Ladies, if you’re going to use craigslist to shop for a man (or any other dating site for that matter), please take a moment to read my advice for women and craigslist. Being a free country, you’re free to ignore part or all of what I have to say. Otherwise you may find yourself guilty of these known craigslist sins. You may, just may, find that heeding some of my suggestions will aid in your search for Mr. Right (or Mr. Wrong if that’s your kink. See “samsara”.)

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by Rose Johnson.

Wow! Not only is your online date good looking, suave, well-dressed, but a rock star/investment banker/rocket scientist? Sounds too good to be true — and, chances are — it might not be true at all. From my year or so of online dating, I’ve learned how to sort the good apples from the bad and I’d like to share some of the tricks I’ve picked up to background-checking potential dates.

It’s human nature to inflate our accomplishments, pat ourselves on the back, and brag a little, especially when you’re speaking to an attractive member of the opposite sex. In the context of online dating, it’s even easier to create a false persona, to portray ourselves in just the right light. It’s so easy to change a B.A. in English to a M.A. in Physics with just the switch of a single letter. It’s even easier to add an extra zero added to your yearly income. And when the time comes, it’s still easy to carry out this persona. A rented car to impress a date? Just make sure the Budget sticker is inconspicuous. A borrowed apartment? Not to worry, just insure that your date doesn’t notice the Metamucil in the medicine cabinet or the six bottles of vodka in the recycling – “it’s not mine! I swear!” might not cut it.

White lies are fine, we all want to impress our dates, but I want to give you the advice that I’ve learned for some good back-ground checking to make sure your date is really who they say are. On my first online date, after an hour of good conversation flirtatious eyelash-batting with “David,” the “stable Physics graduate student,” it leaked that he had been a “graduate” of college for ten years without a job, without a relationship, and was currently couch-surfing between friend’s pads. I’m not here to pass judgment on those couch-surfing unemployed guys – for all we know, they could be the one! – but I am here to pass judgment on liars. An unemployed creep with a thing for feet could be disguised as an upright investment banker and I’m here to tell you just how to distinguish the two.

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by Matt Titus.

There is one thing I try to convey to all of the women I work with: most men do not approach a woman because he thinks she is moral, funny or smart. His initial intention is to sleep with her. I know this sounds harsh and it may be shocking, but it’s true. I am a man and it has never been my intention to approach woman to make a new friend. I have enough friends and none of them wear make-up or smell pretty.

I try to teach women how to think like a man while never losing sight of her femininity. In most cases, a man’s actions are (unfortunately) driven by what pleases him visually, acting out of instinct and only thinking in the moment. My basic thesis is that if a woman can be taught to understand a man’s dating behavior, she can easily control, predict and successfully maneuver through all the confusing “MANerisms” during that date. In other words, I teach women how to speak “man.”

So here’s secret #1 of the Boy’s Club: when a man walks down a crowded street he involuntary classifies all women into two categories: “would sleep with” and “wouldn’t sleep with.”

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by Joshua Thompson.

Buddha said, “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.” Our thoughts honestly control what we do. There is plenty of material written on this. So I won’t get into it too much.

We are a product of what we think…but also what we feel. And I think our feelings aren’t focused on enough.

Honestly, we are mostly emotionally beings. We act based on thoughts, we react based on emotions. Our emotions can stimulate us to do things. They can also stimulate us to ignore reason.

This is the idea that women can really mess you up…because you don’t think logically. Your control is overrun by your emotional language.

But how does this apply to your dating?

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by Katy Franklin.

Every girl has her own little hang-ups about a guy that drive her crazy. Whether you’re out on a first date with someone, have been dating him casually for quite some time, or have been in a long-term relationship with a man, these little annoyances can become “Dealbreakers” or “DB’s,” as my friends and I so lovingly refer to them. Some are not so bad, while others can be totally devastating to a first date, or a committed relationship. So I thought long and hard and came up with a list of things I would consider “Dealbreakers” for myself. I also polled some girlfriends to get some second opinions and fresh ideas. The following are 50 serious Dealbreakers…guys, you may want to take notes…

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by Ed Attanasio

Because I am a writer, many of my friends ask me all the time to write their online profiles to post on dating web sites. I always feel like it’s a big commitment — kind of like writing someone’s resume or biography. There’s a lot at stake and the pressure to write something really good about someone can be very exhausting, because many of my friends are highly dysfunctional. How do you effectively describe the essence of a human being in just a few paragraphs? Without lying or opening yourself up to a civil suit?

I must admit, I have gotten pretty adept at it over the years. The secret to writing a great profile is to emphasize the good things about people while minimizing their shortcomings. Stretching the truth slightly is no crime and many people do it.

No matter how bad or messed up some people are, you can usually find something positive to write about them. They say that Attila the Hun was really nice to his elephants (“loves animals”). Hitler was a vegetarian (“healthy and fit”). And legend has it that Genghis Khan took really good care of his fu manchu (“well-groomed”).

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Are you watching old Seinfeld reruns for dates because you’re broke? Do you need help with saving money without being a cheap date? If you answered “yes” to either or both of these questions, consider this dating advice: Spice things up a bit with these 7 money-saving and fun dating ideas.

Here’s the link to the full article.

7 Dating Tips - Ideas for How to Save Money

Some of these ideas have potentials of being Romantic (e.g. Central Park), while others may be disasterous if you want a second date. It’s definitely worth a look though.

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by Vicky Zhou.

Creating an online dating profile can be challenging, particularly if you’ve never done it before. There are some definitely things you do and do not want to do when you create your profile in order to have the best success with your endeavour.

Here are the things you should definitely leave out.

1. Past Relationship Experiences

While it’s okay to mention what you’ve learned from past relationships, don’t ever go on and on about the way your ex treated you or anything of that resemblance. The more positive you are in your profile, the more positive people will think you are in real life - and everyone wants to date someone positive, right?

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by Katy Franklin.

You know how, in all those magazines on the stands today, there’s a whole bunch of celebrity worship and gossip, and they kind of make you feel like: a) you could never be a celebrity, and/or b) as a normal human being, you could never be cool enough to come close to dating one. That’s the vibe I get from those publications. But then, if you’ve ever paid enough attention (which, I unashamedly, admittedly have,) every once in awhile, you’ll find that someone really famous is dating someone really “normal.” Nicolas Cage dated and married his sushi waitress. Matt Damon married the girl who was his bartender at a club. Sure, it happens. But not very often. I was definitely skeptical about the reality of these situations until my sister, (we’re going to call her Annabelle) recently dated someone pretty famous (we’re going to call him Brad.)

Now please understand that I do not consider my sister “normal” by any means. She is 24 years old and drop-dead gorgeous. In physical appearance, she rivals any celebrity out there. She’s also extremely intelligent, easy to talk to, bubbly and fascinating, so it’s really no wonder somebody so well-known would have been interested in her. She works as an executive assistant to a very powerful entertainment agent in New York City so she meets a lot of famous people through her job.

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by Erin Steiner.

The other night I was making dinner when, from the other room, I heard my boyfriend say “Welcome to Warsong Gulch.” I paused, halfway bent into the oven and thought to myself, “Why do I know that name?” I flipped through my mental rolodex of places that it might be but couldn’t find a visual to match. I knew I’d heard that name before and the words brought up a vaguely Chernobyl-ish picture, but I knew that had to be wrong. I must have stood there for a good fifteen minutes, driving myself crazy, trying to figure out where on the planet Warsong Gulch was located. After all, if the name was so familiar, there must be a reason. Finally, I went into the other room and asked my boyfriend “Where is Warsong Gulch?”

Turning around, and looking at me with what can only be described as an incredulous look on his face, he said “Um. It’s a place on my game?” His voice said “how the heck do you know about Warsong Gulch?”

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For the ladies out there, do you really know what mistakes you are making when you are using online dating sites? This is a great article about 14 common mistakes woman make using online dating. Tips such as “Stop sending winks”, “Keep your profile short and to the point” are supplied and explained.

14 Fatal Online Dating Errors

Also, for the guys out there, if you are dating someone who makes way more money than you, you might want to read this article:

Putting Money on the Table

This article examines the role reversal relationships in which the woman makes more money than the man. According to the article : “…For the first time, women in their 20s who work full time in several American cities — New York, Chicago, Boston and Minneapolis — are earning higher wages than men in the same age range, according to a recent analysis of 2005 census data …”

“…Ms. Rosenmann, 28, who owns a company and earns up to $150,000, said dating considerably older men helps her avoid innuendos from younger men who feel threatened by her professional success. She said that when she has gone out at night with men her own age and has to turn in early to be fresh for work, they have commented, “Oh, Anna’s an adult, she has a real job.”…”

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by Katy Franklin.

Ladies, let me start off by saying that I am not strictly opposed to the idea of you dating your boss. Let’s make that very clear. If your boss is smart, funny, interesting, charming, perfect, single and looks exactly like Matt Damon, stop reading this article immediately and go date him!! I know I would have, had that been my situation. Unfortunately, it didn’t quite go down like that. Guys, you may, in your lifetime, come across some ruthless cougar who is also higher up than you, who will sink her claws into you, and beg you to have sex with her everyday on top of the $4000 mahogany desk in your office with a breathtaking view. If that sounds like something you may be interested in, I’ve got my fingers crossed for you. Unfortunately, my situation wasn’t quite like that either, but hopefully I can shed some light on what it was like for me when I dated my superior in the workplace.

At twenty-two years old, I moved to New York City and got a job working as a waitress at a busy chain restaurant in Times Square. Nick was my boss. Well, technically, he was my boss’ boss. While he was not conventionally hot or extremely good-looking, he was tall and had nice blue eyes, and was charming in his own way. Nick was also a player. A big-time PLAYER, and I appeared to be just his type: young, wide-eyed, innocent (enough) and at the time, I was oblivious to the fact that he had dated or tried to date every other female server, host and bartender in the place. Nevertheless, we developed a flirty and friendly relationship, and pretty soon he had asked me out on a date.

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by Calvin Azuri.

In today’s boisterous society, the Internet offers a convenient avenue for meeting new people. One has simply to sit down in front of the screen, choose a random name, and fire off a pickup line. Online pickup lines can vary from the highly adapted pun “Do you come to this web space often?” to a more general and significantly less coherent “You’re Hawt” - At least those are some of the ones I have seen.

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This is a great article about one woman’s experience with date rape, and how she got out of it. For you gals out there hopefully this can provide some tips on what to do if you are ever in the same situation like this.

Date Rape by Isis1854

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For those of you who want to know if her body language is giving you the go ahead sign, this is another great short film from VideoJug.com for the boys. According to the video, if you found your date giving you
the following signs then there is a good chance she fancies you.

Step 1: The first glance
Step 2: Sub-conscious mirroring
Step 3: Change in posture
Step 4: Self-grooming gestures
Step 5: Face softening
Step 6: Touching

However, if you are a gal you may want to see this one instead:
How Can I Tell If He Is Attracted To Me?

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by Chris Arnone.

The fidgeting of the napkin at the dinner table, the fear of the awkward silence, should you kiss goodnight? Yea first dates are nerve racking and often dreaded by men and women everywhere. But if you’re looking for love, you have to get over this hump, it’s inevitable. By avoiding these top 15 topics, you can assure yourself of a second date, which allows you to be on your way to the big L. Unfortunately most people don’t make it past the first date. Find out why below.

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by Mary Powers.

So you finally gave in and posted an online profile. You were so concerned about choosing the right photo and striking the perfect balance between “casually breezy” yet “intellectual”, that you’d forgotten the whole point of this was to actually meet someone. So when you sifted through your responses and came across someone who might actually be a decent match for you, you panicked.

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by Meg Stivison.

When my parents started dating, they lived a few states away from each other. They’d see each other about once a month, but most of the time they mailed long letters back and forth. Although they now have boxes full of romantic letters, that kind of delayed communication can put quite a strain on a relationship.

Even with modern communications like e-mail and text-messaging, long distance relationships take work. After dating my boyfriend for almost two years, I took a one-year contract to work in another country. I know this isn’t the decision everyone would make, but it was the right choice for us. We both had great opportunities in our respective fields, and there was a definite endpoint in sight. We counted down the months until we’d be back in the same time zone.

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