Comments on: Does Match.com Promotes Infidelity?

By: Martin Welch

Martin Welch — Fri, 09 May 2008 00:50:47 +0000

I agree with that, there’s nothing wrong with online dating websites. This websites, like Match.com helps two strange people to meet.

By: Will

Will — Fri, 09 May 2008 14:00:00 +0000

For a moment I thought you had read your partner’s email without her consent, but I was glad to see you recognised that such an action is a big no-no (however I think many women think all is fair in love and war and would have no worries about invading a man’s privacy).
Dating sites are exactly what they say, i.e. dating sites. If you met your partner through a dating site and your relationship was going well, after a while you would have every right to request that your partner discontinue their subscription (paid or otherwise), remove their profile and pack up shop, on that site. If, as in your case, your partner was on a site ‘just for looking’, then I agree wholeheartedly with you that something is wrong. A female friend once told me that when a woman dates a man she has long-term goals in mind (once the relationship passes the initial startup phase)… ‘just looking’ at other men is not something most women want to do. Okay, as you say, person window-shopping as an afterthought is ok, but when a woman signs up to a dating site and makes the effort to frequent it, then it is time to call it a day with her. It does not help that many/most dating sites are intend on profits and don’t care in the slightest about how they market themselves.
So to summarise, I agree with your assertion that dating sites are a step further along the path of infidelity than a quick glance at a fit body.

By: Savvy Jones

Savvy Jones — Sun, 11 May 2008 17:03:15 +0000

If I caught my man on Match.com - he would no longer be my man. It’s cheating - full on! Dating websites put the courtship process into the microwave. Instead of meeting someone in a parking lot, getting their number, calling them up, going on the first date, getting to know one another, etc. etc….. slow-cooker method; the dating website builds intimicay in a matter of moments - just as fast as we can type out our perception of reality.

By the time you get to a first meeting after meeting someone on Match, you are already intimately involved - and sex happens so much faster. I wish I knew the statisitics but I bet sex from a Match meeting occurs at least 80% fster.

So - if my man is “just looking” on a dating website, he can keep looking.

By: Allison Ward

Allison Ward — Mon, 12 May 2008 13:33:16 +0000

I have got to agree with martin there is nothing wrong with online dating. People have sometimes got the wrong misconception of adult dating they think it is a last resort for social misfits, but they are so far away from the truth it is unbelievable, as online dating is a excellent social tool for those who lead a busy live style, who have shyness issues, or people who want to expand their social circles.

The number of people participating in adult dating has exploded over the last few years, there could be many reasons but over 40 million people cannot be wrong.

By: Chris Johnson

Chris Johnson — Fri, 16 May 2008 16:47:58 +0000

My hunch is she would have found some way to cheat if there was no Match.com or its ads, as you point out there were problems anyway. There will always be problems, and how people resolve them determines whether they can stay together. I’ve had my own painful betrayal experiences, which have helped in knowing myself and finding the right person.

A good rule I’ve heard is that your activity (whatever it is) is a problem if you don’t want your partner knowing about it–honesty and openness are key for long-term relationships.

By: Anna

Anna — Sun, 18 May 2008 02:35:20 +0000

I think there can be many reasons for infidelity but certainly we cannot blame match.com.

By: JT

JT — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:33:47 +0000

I don’t have a problem with dating sites, I do have a major problem with half of a pair frequenting one. Admiring a nice ass walking through a parking lot is one thing, logging on to go through singles is entirely different.

By: Don Johnson

Don Johnson — Mon, 19 May 2008 23:05:05 +0000

It’s OK to look? One of the biggest myths in the world, man, and more women have left men for looking than you would think, ’cause they know what comes after looking. Of course, if you ‘match-up’ with someone, you should pull your profile. C’mon.

By: Matt

Matt — Tue, 20 May 2008 05:30:05 +0000

Online dating sites give members so much choice right at their finger tips. Where else can people have so much choice at their disposal in such a short amount of time.

By: Xander

Xander — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:54:21 +0000

All I can say is..be careful…more so on dating sites actually, cause’ your info is out there for all to browse thru’ and thats in one way or another a scary notion in itself.

By: Seraphine

Seraphine — Thu, 22 May 2008 02:33:45 +0000

Online “dating” might seem harmless,
but remember the one on the other
end is a real person. People get hurt.

By: Casanova

Casanova — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:42:52 +0000

lols..nice blog! =)

we shares the common interest..

By: Edward

Edward — Fri, 23 May 2008 20:11:36 +0000

I like Online dating… You never know is it a beutiful women from the picture or ugly naked guy.

By: Zane Kearney

Zane Kearney — Sun, 25 May 2008 10:16:58 +0000

I appreciate everyone’s feedback! You all have some good points, however, I’m not bashing dating sites in any way. To me it feels as if Match.com in particular could potentially be sending out a mixed message with their slogan which, in my situation, had some pretty disreputable damage. I strongly believe that if you’re in a committed relationship with someone that you should not be frequenting online dating sites and most definitely not be setting up profiles about yourself with the excuse that “it’s okay to look.” But hey, if online dating is what works for you, then by all means go for it! If you have a significant other, do them a favor and break it off if you feel yourself wanting to see if the grass is greener before you start checking into it.

By: Megan

Megan — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 01:52:41 +0000

I joined match.com and it surprises me the amount of people on there that have their status as single and I actually know these people and know they are by no means “single”… anyway I have even started a blog about my match.com dating… so far it has been a disaster if anyone is interested in checking it out :
http://blah-love-blah.blogspot.com

By: Grouch

Grouch — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 00:05:39 +0000

in my opinion men and women were made to look and flirt. As soon as that impulse becomes repressed the person starts to lose the things that made them attractive to their partner in the first place-attributes like confidence. The harder you hold on to someone the more likely they are to stray.

By: Find Mr Right

Find Mr Right — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 17:02:34 +0000

Fidelity is an alien concept to our species. It’s only social structure that gives the illusion we are secure in our relationships… or that we are ‘owed’ a relationship for that matter.

The fact the girl in question was shopping on Match is nothing more than a representation of how we are as humans. If someone isn’t 100% happy in a relationship their natural programming tells them to find someone else. People who deny this are clinging to social indoctrination in the belief that if they subscribe to the rules so should everyone else.

The main problem is that we take relationships and being dumped so personally. The ego is a cruel master. If someone doesn’t want to be with you anymore, surely that’s their perogative. Trying to make them do anything else would constitute manipulation in order to satisfy your own demands… now that would be plain mean!

By: Successindating

Successindating — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 22:52:43 +0000

It doesn’t really promote infidelity, it depends on the person.

By: ronin1770

ronin1770 — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 03:16:29 +0000

Yes I think it does!

By: Mitch

Mitch — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:52:04 +0000

There is nothing wrong with dating site. People have different purpose if decided to join. This is entirely a decision of the person involved. Why not talk to them and ask their reason?