Comments on: Secrets Of The Boys Club: What Guys Really Think The First Time They See You

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 15:02:35 +0000

Newsflash - I know in the first 3 seconds of laying eyes on a man whether or not I want to sleep with him. I then proceed accordingly. Many many women I know act exactly the same way.

By: reality girl

reality girl — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 01:50:42 +0000

I love the fact that men are finally opening up about their thoughts! thank god…the last 100 guys i was out with are mum!

By: Jollyjo

Jollyjo — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 03:49:04 +0000

I think the stereotypes may fit into a certain age group where “seek/conquer” may be more prevalent..

I think as we age, the stereotypes change a great deal…

By: Single Girl Sarah

Single Girl Sarah — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 11:21:41 +0000

From what the article says you suggest to just stay natural, but I don’t think that it always works like that. I have been single for quite a long time now, too long if you ask me. I have experimented with my style quite a bit and would say that men rather like girls that are styled up, but of course not as much as in your first example.

Sarah

By: KL

KL — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 20:56:48 +0000

I think it depends on the man, and possibly where you live. I have never been approached by a man when I was dressed like Woman 4: T-shirt / Running Pants / Sneakers / Ponytail.

What seems to work for me is Woman 3: Business Suit / Heels / Conservative Up-Do / Perfect Nails and Make –Up - especially if I am wearing my glasses and have that whole teacher / librarian vibe going. Which suits me just fine, because I would rather meet someone who is into an intelligent woman.

By: Martin Welch

Martin Welch — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 03:13:33 +0000

“Don’t judge a book by its cover”.. Personally, the looks doesn’t matter. Some women acts differently as to how they dress. You won’t know the personality of a woman, unless you talk to her.

By: Bill

Bill — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 01:48:03 +0000

I think this is absolutely subjective, because not all men have that mentality. Granted, yes, all men have sex somewhere in their minds, there’s no denying that, but at least when I walk around a street or my school, I never look at someone as a “who would I sleep with.” I always look at them as a “who should I walk up to and ask out?” And it’s just as shallow as what’s detailed above, but please don’t categorize all guys into ones that are just after sex, because there are some generally interested in more.

By: Dblog

Dblog — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 10:54:28 +0000

Well if this is actually how some men think then chickens do have more brains but somehow is so cool to know that we women are alot smarter than men. You can’t judge a woman buy her looks or the way she dress. Behind every womans facade, there is either a goddess or genius waiting to soar.

By: Dating Blog

Dating Blog — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 11:56:12 +0000

That was an interesting article to read. Still things seem too simplified. The thing is that sometimes men and women want something forbidden, and it’s very likely that the one who preferred type number 4 yesterday will fall in love with type number 3 tomorrow.

It’s just chemistry! Powerful and unpredictable chemistry!

By: Mobeze

Mobeze — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 01:01:09 +0000

I most certainly agree with this article and it’s very helpful to those out there looking to best understand the initial opinions males form with females in the first few moments. Initial impressions are crucial, but make sure you’re being honest with yourself and how you wish to come across. As dating becomes more and more casual, with less expectation of serious relationships from the onset, physical attraction becomes more of a focal point.

By: Andrew Reynolds

Andrew Reynolds — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 02:45:24 +0000

You won’t know a person unless you have time to talk with her/him. It depends on the person on how he judge the personality of a person. Not all people wearing business suit are intelligent, not all people wearing torn jeans are floppy and etc..

By: Jean-Luc Picard

Jean-Luc Picard — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 18:28:35 +0000

It’s certainly important how someone presents themself. That could have been the same girl all in different outfits, yet she would get a different reaction.

By: sana

sana — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 10:31:09 +0000

This is not a common but a specific one, I cannot agree most of the men approach the women for sleep with her or sexual intentions, that is not true. we must promote the moderate relationship among men and women.

By: Joe

Joe — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 05:28:06 +0000

Interesting article.. while I do not agree 100%, I believe it has some valid points.

By: White Label Dating

White Label Dating — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 18:15:36 +0000

“His initial intention is to sleep with her”. I don’t agree with this. Many men are like this, but dating is first of all a way to date right ? And many men are more concerned about finding their perfect match, their ideal soulmate, than just having sex with any girl. Just my two cents :).

By: Steve

Steve — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 03:22:00 +0000

Matt,

Great blog. I agree with your general these, which is that men’s relationships are driven by their initial assessment of sexual compatibility. Unfortunately, you lost me when you went subjective with the various female stereotypes, thus exposing more about yourself than males in general. I, for one, would go straight for the business-professional woman in the business suit and heels. If I struck out there, I would back into subject number 1, black leather boots and skirt. We are all insecure fools with fears of strong woman, intelligent woman. Bring em on.

Steve

By: Shaun

Shaun — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 18:18:27 +0000

Well Ya know he made some good points about the stereotypical assumptions that most “Experts” Make. But the truth behind the matter is that no person is the same even though a lot of men out there only have sex on the brain. I believe that in order to be attracted to someone there has to be something more then just a physical reaction. In other words I personally like to observe a women in a situtation and see how she reacts to friends. co-workers etc, see her personality and how she handles herself as well as how she looks. Of course this is just me im no “Expert”

By: Match Girl

Match Girl — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:29:30 +0000

I would think alot of it has to do with the environment of the first encounter and also the type of person. A guy going to the clubs would be attracted to the girl in the miniskirt & boots. A really laid back, casual guy would be attracted to the girl in the jeans. A sporty, fitness guy would be attracted to the girl in the activewear. And a business professional would be attracted to the girl in the suit. Guys should know that the business gal could easily be the “lady in the street, freak in the bed” type, and the girl in the miniskirt & boots could be quite shy, but likes to dress fashionably.

By: BillyWarhol

BillyWarhol — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:55:51 +0000

I don’t think I’d Kick any those Hot Girls outta Bed fer Eatin’ Crackers!!

Eliot Spitzer Approved!!

;))

By: April

April — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:57:51 +0000

Woman #4……. Not every woman could wear this outfit and be attractive.

It’s sad to say, but this article really does sum up what a lot of men are thinking.

By: Umarzuki

Umarzuki — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 11:07:08 +0000

Good article. But we all know that beauty is a skin deep. If we love somebody just for their look..

By: 80sFilms

80sFilms — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:22:36 +0000

Great article. Several movies actually reflect this behavior. Somehow, we seem to keep ignoring it and act surprise or enlightened when it finally rises as a serious article.

By: dame4net

dame4net — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 11:07:10 +0000

I believe there are a lot of environmental factors that have to be considered. I live in NYC and its normal for women to be dressed up and this becomes the standard. If I lived in Wichita, then the style of dress here wouldn’t be acceptable there, yet people find attraction in all parts of the world no matter how they culture/style works.

By: bokjae

bokjae — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:39:41 +0000

Wow! I have to agree with U totally! Most guys think that way! I too used to do that but until I learn to see women in proper light that I can move away from that sort of thinking! Still at times the flesh sets in and the temptation to think like before! Great Posts! Cheers!

By: Big Beauty

Big Beauty — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:21:39 +0000

face or figure?

By: Random Guy

Random Guy — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 14:15:45 +0000

Here is a bombshell, a lot of my female friends are exactly the same.
You should here the stuff they say about guys and the ones they do and don’t approach.
It is no different to what you say about us guys, not that I am disagreeing with you though
I’m just saying that girls are just as bad as guys, guys just get stereotyped far more for it.

By: johnson

johnson — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:04:44 +0000

very funny ,try to understand eacha woman in your office,Mutual understanding and Trust is the essence of married life.

By: Amy

Amy — Sun, 04 May 2008 23:22:41 +0000

Women do think like this too. We look at a man and know quickly if we want to pursue him or not. This is a funny post though, good to know what men are thinking.

By: Dondon

Dondon — Wed, 21 May 2008 21:32:08 +0000

For me personally, I always look on the physical attributes but now it does not matter anymore..I try to look for the inner beauty of my date.

By: Matt

Matt — Sun, 25 May 2008 12:47:46 +0000

My view is that it needs to be a combination of both. There needs to be attraction in the first place to take the next step

By: Lauren

Lauren — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 02:25:36 +0000

Very interesting view point except I would tend to think that even though men have a certain way of thinking, they are all different and like different things in women. So to say each man likes the same type of woman and has the same type of fears and confidence is a little too vague. I am also a dating expert and have written several articles, but I do like hearing other opinions and interpretations. Thanks for sharing.

By: Kat

Kat — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 22:41:53 +0000

Yes, because everything is so clean cut. I have a few male friends, and while sometimes they talk about the disney princesses and which one they’d prefer, most of the time they are as concerned as I or any of our female friends about their stereotypes, one of which is that men are purely sexual beings and can only relate to the world on that level. I think you’re insulting a whole gender here, by implying that they can -only- see women as sexual. Why? Do men lack the capacity to actually think? I don’t think so.

By: Successindating

Successindating — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 01:25:00 +0000

It’s so true. Women have it easy in the attraction game, all they do is dress up and look pretty.

By: eugene chuang garg

eugene chuang garg — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 13:57:15 +0000

Very interesting read. Not exactly the info I was Googling for. Thanks for sharing your views and experience.