The 15 Minute Dating Blog

by Chris Arnone.

The fidgeting of the napkin at the dinner table, the fear of the awkward silence, should you kiss goodnight? Yea first dates are nerve racking and often dreaded by men and women everywhere. But if you’re looking for love, you have to get over this hump, it’s inevitable. By avoiding these top 15 topics, you can assure yourself of a second date, which allows you to be on your way to the big L. Unfortunately most people don’t make it past the first date. Find out why below.

Never ask for another date while you are on your date.

Don’t Say: “I have box seats to the Yankee game tomorrow, do you want to go?”
Be interesting, different and most of all mysterious. Make your date wonder if they will get another date. The fear of rejection or inability to “read” someone’s feelings creates attraction and is your new best friend.

Lacking ambition.

Don’t Say: “I plan on living with my parents until I’m 30.”
Maybe it’s the truth (yikes) but stay away from it. Nobody wants a significant other who isn’t independent or ambitious enough to unlock their own door.

You don’t like children.

Don’t Say: “I hate kids, I’ll never have them.”
Again this might be the case, but don’t spill it. You don’t want to seem like the insensitive person who cares as much for rugrats as they do guacamole.

Compliments Compliments Compliments.

Don’t Say: “You look great. Wow you smell great. Nice shoes. Where did you get that shirt I just love it.”
Try to limit yourself to fewer than 3 comments per date. I know it’s tough, but the girl/guy needs to work for your approval.

Insecurities. Yes this does include your sixth toe.

Don’t Say: “I don’t have the greatest personality.”
You need to try and do your best to make your date wonder why you are single and make them feel privileged to be there with you. They should think you’re flawless.

Telling your date that you are into them.

Don’t Say: “I really like you.”
Yuk! Remind yourself that you don’t even know this person. Besides once they know they have you, they begin to lose attraction towards you. Don’t act like you are on your first date in 3 months, even if it’s true.

Bashing a past girlfriend/boyfriend.

Bashing a past girlfriend/boyfriend.
Don’t Say: “My ex was such a control freak.”
Not only does this show no class on a first date, but they will probably wonder if things don’t work out between the two of you, if you would talk about them as well. Use this topic to your advantage. If you are stuck to answer, tell them your partner wasn’t giving and pay close attention to what their ex did wrong. This way you never make the same mistake. An example is if they say, “My ex was never ready on time.” You make sure you’re at the door before the bell rings.

No bragging.

No bragging.
Don’t Say: “I just washed my porshe with a hundred dollar bill…and then threw it out!”
Stay away from talking about how much money you earn or have stashed away under the deck. If you make a lot of money, great! If you were the spelling bee champ in third grade, great! But let your date figure these things out. Tell them your drive a red foreign car and love doing crossword puzzles, but don’t be specific.

Stay away from politics and religion.

Don’t Say: “Bush is going to destroy this country” (the president of course).
These are two subjects that can ruin even the most romantic candlelight dinner. It just sets you up for a disagreement amongst other possibly false accusations. Wait until a couple of months to tell your democratic girlfriend/boyfriend that the US should send over 10,000 more troops. Hopefully by then, it’s too late.

Anything involving sex.

Don’t Say: “I love to do it like this…”
Unacceptable! It’s not cool and it’s not attractive. If you want a one-night stand, try to take care of business when you hand out your number. Otherwise, show respect on your date.

Addictions.

Don’t Say: “I used to gamble a thousand a week.”
It’s probably best to leave out things like gambling, drugs, alcohol, etc. If this is the case…seek help!

A lousy day at work.

Don’t Say: “I can’t stand when he/she takes advantage of me.”
Sometimes it’s tough for your friends to soak in the fact that you’d like to drown your boss in the water cooler. So imagine how bored your date would be. Keep it positive.

Don’t pry on how much someone makes.

Don’t Say: “What do you pull in a year?”
You don’t want to appear as a gold digger, so if they don’t bring up their salary, your job conversation consists of something else. If you think you’re with someone who sees dollar signs and not sparks, take them some place inexpensive. Go out for a coffee or a picnic, then you’ll know.

Outrageous moments.

Don’t Say: “This one time at band camp…”
Telling the story about the time you got really drunk and went streaking through your grandparents’ 50th anniversary is not such a good idea. You want to come off as upbeat and positive but not crazy.

Terms of endearment.

Don’t Say: “Do you want to order some wine, BABY?”
Stay away from things like honey, baby, sweetie and so on. This includes holding hands on a first date. These can make for uncomfortable situations. And remember just a few hours ago this person was a stranger.

The key is to be upbeat, fun and positive. You have to sell yourself as if you were the greatest thing since sliced bread. Sound hard? Of course it is, but so is entering a relationship. These guidelines will put you on the right track towards the tunnel of Love.

About the author: Chris works for a TV news station and is a freelance writer. His work has been published for a wide range of topics both in print and online. His passion and time are dedicated to both sports and writing. He lives in New York and enjoys all its rewards.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007 at 4:25 am and is filed under Dating Tips, Dating and Relationships Opinions. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.