To Shave or Not to Shave: Are You Really Ready for the First Date?
by Mary Powers.
So you finally gave in and posted an online profile. You were so concerned about choosing the right photo and striking the perfect balance between “casually breezy” yet “intellectual”, that you’d forgotten the whole point of this was to actually meet someone. So when you sifted through your responses and came across someone who might actually be a decent match for you, you panicked.
Which is what you’re doing now, standing in your closet, planning for your date. He looks pretty cute, seems nice and is funny. At least online. We all know how face-to-face meetings can render one mute.
The big questions are still looming, though:
Well, it depends on where you’re going. If you’re heading out for drinks, be sure to wear something wine-colored. This way, if you’re nervous and spill your drink on yourself, he may never even notice. (Unless you’re planning to spill it on him, in which case, you may want to suggest that he wear something wine-colored as well.) Try not to let the ladies out too much. If you must reveal something, reveal your lovely elbows. Or a finely-turned earlobe. Wearing something too low-cut will immediately send the message you may not be willing to send just yet. (And it’s not “tennis anyone?”) And besides, you really don’t want to spend all evening being the eyeball police and keeping them out of your cleavage.
If you’re not going to show any leg, there’s no need to shave. In fact, not shaving is a great defense against getting too…shall we say…”frisky.” It is only the first date. Why even risk having baby-smooth, touchable legs? Don’t waste a shave. Lord knows there’ll be plenty more times for you to blot your bloody ankle bone with toilet paper.
Whatever you do, don’t forget to do the full-on brush. Not just the teeth. Do the tongue, and if you have time, floss, too. You’ll be glad you did when you discover later that you have a piece of oregano trumpeting its presence from your right incisor. (Did you even have oregano?) At least you’ll know it wasn’t there when you left the house.
Well, since you’re meeting someone online for the first time, and you’ve Googled his name, all the aliases you could create from it, as well as any other random tidbit of information he may have thrown your way, you might as well meet him at the local police station so he can undergo the rest of the background check. That way, you’ll be assured fresh coffee and even fresher doughnuts.
Keep your cats out of it, unless he asks about them (which he won’t). Ditto for your fingernails and the contents of your makeup bag. Don’t mention any medications you’re on, or any medications you’d like to be on. Don’t mention sports unless you know the difference between a touchdown and a home run. And that they occur on two different fields.
That should do it. If you can make it through the first date without being offended, disgusted or groped, that bodes well for a second date. Next time, wear something guacamole-colored.
About the author: Colleen is a freelance writer living outside Chicago with her two rescued Golden Retrievers. She has written more than her share of personal ads for her own entertainment and that of her friends. Her interests include saving the canine world from abuse and abandonment and finding typos on menus.
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August 16th, 2007 at 10:46 am
You write really well. It’s a pleaure to read your blog. When’s your first dating book coming out?
August 17th, 2007 at 7:33 am
Very cute, and well written!
August 17th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
So true! Although I’m not into online dating too much myself, my friends ALWAYS call me before they go on this kind of a date and ask advice.
August 19th, 2007 at 12:53 am
I’ve forgotten all about how to even date at all!
I hope you’ll join me in the middle name meme I just tagged you for, though.
August 19th, 2007 at 9:31 am
Some good humour there, with useful tips!
August 19th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Hi,
Online dating not that famous in Malaysia.
August 19th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
It’s very simple and touched down to the basic. Thank you for the great tip. I think this was the few tips that I failed in my first date in the past.
I would like to add on another tips too: TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY SMELL!
Not too heavy. People don’t like heavy perfumes. Just light and not sweaty smell will do!
August 20th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
Interesting tips. Try not to get caught up in too much planning and worrying, it will just bring on anxiety and anticipation. You can never predict the evening, just be yourself and, hopefully, the night will belong to you (and your date).
Best of luck with your online dating experiences, I hope you catch a good one (if and when, please do share
)!
August 21st, 2007 at 11:30 am
nice blog. I like it
September 12th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Liked the bit about typos on restaurant menus - picking out errata on menus is one of those habits I have which I don’t usually admit to.
Not something that I would advise on a first date either - don’t want to come across as a pedant or a bore.
Coincidentally, I did find myself indulging recently in mulling over restaurant menus and making mental notes of improvements at the food festival here in Leeds just a few weeks ago - but I was with a girl who I met through online dating 4 months ago. She pretty much understands my foibles and quirks now, so I could get away with it without suffering much more than a raised eyebrow and wry smile. She wore green for her first date by the way - wonder if she was already psychologically on date no. 2.
Will just add that btw that I’m a very lucky boy - after years of dating, relationships, being a bit of a male-tart, and periods of single-ness (not all at the same time) I finally met someone with the wit, heart and strength of character worth being with on a permanent basis.