The 15 Minute Dating Blog

by Alicia Howe.

First dates truly matter in terms of first impressions, and the chance to make any impression past that. Whether you’ve experienced a first date disaster, or even just witnessed a traumatic first between two others, you know that there are certain activities to steer clear from. However, if you are not a regular first date professional as of now, here are some tips of what not to do on a first date.

1. Because first dates can be awkward, chances are you don’t want to choose a location with zero amounts of liveliness. Good advice would be to not go out on a weekday. Weekends keep the options limitless, both of you will have less stress on your plates, and you don’t have to worry about being the only two duds in the joint.

2. You’ve probably grown up with hearing either the advice not to be, or to be glamorously five minutes late so you don’t look desperate. The rule of thumb: don’t be more than ten minutes late. And if your date is picking you up from your house, you might want to worry about him or her either getting stuck hearing childhood stories of yours, or browsing pictures and memorabilia scattered around your home. Knowing about how you drove your car through the garage door five times before getting your license might scare the date off.

3. When choosing a location for the first date, don’t choose to go to a place where either of you know a worker. Chances are if that person is a friend, he or she will be more than willing to mess with the food, watch you’re every move, and snicker every time he or she passes the two of you. And besides, an involved friend is just another available distraction from getting to know your date, which is the reason you are out with that person.

4. Since most first dates are traditionally dinner dates, many don’ts evolve from what you might call restaurant etiquette. A good place to start… when ordering your first beverage, decide a limit of how many you will consume by the end of the night. Don’t get too drunk. No date wants to deal with a sappy, blushed, and blunt date that has to pee every five minutes and then be carried home at the end of the date.

5. Making your date laugh is a must. Everyone loves a sense of humor. But don’t tell jokes while the date is taking a drink. More times than not, the drink will end up splattered on you sitting across from him or her, which will cease the laughter for both of you.

6. Don’t order for your date. Chances are your date does have a mind of his or her own. It is a first date, therefore seeing what he or she orders will be a little insight into what he or she would enjoy for future dates. And who wants a date that doesn’t let them make decisions for themselves? No one wants a control freak.

7. Ordering for you can be tricky enough. Don’t try to play it fancy and order something when you have no idea what it is. If you don’t know the skill that goes into clawing the meat out of crab legs, for example, don’t order them. The crab will end up flying across the room and you will be left looking ridiculous.

8. While at the table, talk and get to know each other. Even if there are awkward silences, that isn’t your cue to grab your phone and start texting. And if it rings, unless it’s vital you answer or someone will lose an organ, don’t answer. It’s just not polite table manners.

9. Just because you can’t answer your phone at the table, that isn’t your cue to scram to the bathroom and make your calls there. It’s understood that if you’re a girl, your friends are probably waiting to hear all the juicy gossip. But save it for the end. An hourly update is unnecessary. Time will get away from you in the bathroom, and your date might begin to wonder if you have some sort of problem he or she would rather not know about.

10. When talking, don’t bring up exes. It’s common advice, yet it continues to happen. You can talk about funny dating experiences without using specifics. And don’t bring up family drama. Keep the convo’s clean and classy.

11. Even without using specifics about past relationships, a general synopsis is not necessary either. In other words, don’t any under circumstance ask your date how many people he or she has been with. Not first date material.

12. Don’t ask your date what he or she’s parents do for a living. If he or she chooses to tell you, that’s fine. But you asking makes it seem that money is a top concern of yours, and your date may want to steer clear of that information. Finding out the dad sells knives door to door and the mom sells corn on the cob on the side of the road might result in some awkward silence.

13. Don’t show up to a first date without means of paying for it. Everyone’s rules are different in the paying category. Sometimes the guy pays, sometimes whoever asked for the date pays, and more common these days is splitting the cost. But no matter the outcome, you don’t want to look like an expecting fool who may end up with dish duty at the end of the night.

14. If you and your date happen to be attempting a double date, don’t play footsie under the table. It’s possible that you will caress the wrong set of feet, which could only lead to end of the night drama.

15. If the two of you are attending a movie, don’t choose a movie without compromising. A girl who chooses a chick flick or a guy who chooses an action flick without discussing the interests of the date might end up with an annoying snorer next to them.

16. At a show, don’t assume your date enjoys movies in the same way you are used to. In other words, don’t start a gab fest every time something interesting happens. At the same time, don’t force your date into an hardcore make-out session. It is possible that your date actually wants to enjoy the movie.

17. At the end of the date, if it was successful, don’t be afraid to end the night with a kiss. There is nothing wrong with a sweet kiss, as long as it’s not overly slobbery and you don’t keep your eyes open. That’s just creepy.

18. If you’re looking for long-term, don’t go home with your date and expose all your goodies. You have lots of time for that. Make your date have to wait and want more. It gives he or she more reason to ask you on another date.

19. If your date wasn’t chivalrous as much as you had hoped, don’t immediately turn him or her down. Times are changing and you never know what to expect. Keep an open mind.

20. If you didn’t enjoy the date, don’t tell your date that you did! Just leave it at that. More opportunities are out there. Settling for less than you deserve will only lead you into another dead-end relationship.

Dating is a side dish. The main course is the ability to have fun in life without that significant other on the plate. YOU are the main course. As soon as you are able to love life and yourself without having the other person, you’ll find the person. And you’ll enjoy that person much more if you aren’t dependant on them. I may only be 21 and still in college, but I have an ability to watch couples and notice all that they are doing wrong. If you just observe relationships, you’ll notice how silly people act. Just be yourself. Don’t let relationships take over your life. And they’ll work.

About the author: Alicia is currently studying to be a journalist. Her dream is to be a travel writer, possibly for National Geographic or a Travel vacation-type magazine. She love to travel and be free. She’s also minoring in creative writing, so hopefully someday when she’s old and exhausted from life’s experiences, she can write a novel with all of the lessons life taught her. Look for it someday in the far future. For now, She’s just using up every spare moment of her young life to have a blast and never be able to regret a wasted moment.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, July 26th, 2007 at 5:28 am and is filed under Dating Tips, Dating and Relationships Opinions. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.