Why So Many Asians Date Other Asians
by Terry Dip
If you walk around LA, you’ll see lots of Asian couples. Look closer and if you can tell the difference, you’ll see that these couples are of not only the Asian race but the same Asian ethnicity. For a city known worldwide for its cultural diversity, LA has many monoethnic Asian couples. Nothing wrong with that, but there are specific reasons for it.
Even today, it is true to a certain degree that the Asian communities of LA are segregated. Being Asian, I know Asians prefer to live with their own ethnicity. In LA, there exist a Chinatown, a Koreatown, a Little Tokyo, a Filipino Town, a Thai Town, and a myriad of others. Beyond this, certain districts are implicitly known as the territories of specific ethnic groups. Carson has an incredibly high Filipino population, and Monterey Park is primarily Chinese. Commonalities in language, culture, history, and food are the main reasons Thais stay in Thai Town, Koreans stay in Koreatown, and so on. The desire to work with your own ethnicity is also a major reason.
This comes down to many Asians having no opportunity to meet anyone outside of their ethnic group, so they end up dating Asians of their own ethnicity.
It’s, of course, a different case for the younger generation, who has the privilege to venture further into the world, to go to college, but two of the most famous universities in LA are UCLA and USC, the first of which notoriously stands for “University of Caucasians Lost among Asians” and the second of which might as well stand for “University of Students from China.” Even on college campuses, you see many monoethnic Asian couples.
The reason goes deeper than that, though. Many second-, third-, fourth-, fifth-generation Asians have a desire to be more culturally aware of who and what they are, perhaps even more so than their parents. Especially now that tourism and interest in foreign countries have surpassed pre-9/11 levels, culture is almost a commercial product. It’s cool to learn about your own culture, which can translate to joining student groups that educate the student population about your culture and dating someone from your own ethnic group so you can learn about your culture together.
Many Asian couples in LA were not born or raised in the United States either. Whether they are international students, immigrants looking to become permanent residents or citizens, or teens who came when they were already too old to assimilate effortlessly into American society, they most likely feel more comfortable being in a relationship with someone who speaks the same language, understands the same culture, and can communicate with their family.
Like attracting like is not particular to Asians, but Asians are a good example in LA because there is such a high population of many Asian ethnicities. I remember the time when a former professor of mine told me how she had met her husband. They hit it off because they grew up watching the same cartoons.
It might be as simple as that.
About the author: A graduate in Comparative Literature from UCLA, Terry has two great passions in life: writing and traveling. He does not intend to stop doing either. Ever. Maybe until he meets a woman who is either able to clip his wings or willing to fly by his side. Or maybe not. Here is a link to some of Terry’s published work.
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June 8th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
Very interesting Terry.
June 8th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Asian chicks are hot, but they’re also tight with a buck.
June 14th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
i can’t blame any man for wanting to date or marry an asian woman. there the loveliest and sexiest women on earth and i hope that someday i can finally get together with one.
July 5th, 2007 at 6:07 pm
well we tend to appreciate rare things..
July 11th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
i’m asian and i think this article is very true. i agree that people feel safest and most comfortable being with someone they know “culturally” so they won’t have to worry about how to behave according to the culture of someone from a different cultural background. also, in my personal opinion based on experience, asian people are more gracious and less aggressive when it comes to being in a relationship.
July 13th, 2007 at 3:23 am
Interesting post, Terry. I am a Caucasian and am in a relationship with a Filipino who I met down in New Orleans. I honestly like the cultural differences and the ability to connect and reveal what it is that I already know and am used to.
Nothing against the American/Caucasian girls that I have previously dated but, I have to say that I admire the appreciation and attention that girls from different countries seem to exhibit. Brings a whole lot more to the table for the enjoying and indulging in. I guess when people become accustomed to a certain standard of living and being, they sometimes tend to act unappreciative, spoiled and improper.
Regardless of culture or ethnic origin, if the shoe fits, wear it. Keep on keeping on, Terry, the possibilities are endless!
August 15th, 2007 at 3:44 am
How can I beat that? I’ve been madly in love with asian women who just didn’t look my way at all. How can I compete? I don’t care about race at all or about customs and such. Those things are long gone now a days. I come from a small catholic mexican town, I should know about ridiculous customs. So how can I even meet someone asian now that I’m not a UC student anymore. It was just a tease? here is your chemistry partner for the next three months for you to fall in love with and then say bye. So I redefine feel the segregation. I refuse it though. I don’t know how, but I’ll get married to someone not mexican some how some day.
August 17th, 2007 at 6:40 pm
Don’t all ethnicities (for the most part) try to stay together as well? Very simple, yet true, reasoning Terry. Excellent read.
January 18th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Of course, one of the obvious and unsaid but well know reasons why so many asian men date other asian women is that women of other ethnicities don’t give them a chance, and their “pool” of choice is far far smaller than an asian woman’s. There are VERY few asian women who aren’t attracted to white, black, latino men (who all reciprocate the attraction) over asian men.