Is Internet Prince Charming a Reality or Fairy Tale?
by Tamara Warta
I’ll never forget Janie, a high school classmate who fluctuated between being my best friend and my biggest nemesis. Janie was heavy set with mousy brown hair and a crude vocabulary talent that could humble the most vulgar of sailors. From sharing secrets late at night to getting into a fistfight at the Winter Formal senior year, Janie was always a part of my high school experience in one way or another.
I mention Janie for one reason – she was never able to land a boyfriend for more than a few months at a time. Bouncing from one guy to the next, she was a torrent of rage and tears, punching lockers on a continual basis. This cycle continued until the last month of the 12th grade when Janie was convinced she had met the man of her dreams.
I should clarify that she hadn’t exactly met the man of her dreams, but rather she was to go on a date with him that Saturday night. She was being set up on the traditional blind date so popular in the late 1990s, only there was one catch. Janie was to sit in a neighborhood taqueria by herself near the window. Then Mr. Dreamboat would cruise on by and, if he liked what he saw, he would come in and greet Janie. If he was unimpressed, Janie would be left there to wonder what had happened – jilted on what she was hoping would be one of the greatest nights of her life.
We all knew about it, we all were in on it. We knew that Janie wasn’t very attractive. We knew that personality wise; Janie could oftentimes be grouped with some of history’s most notorious evils. However despite all of this, I found my heart breaking a little as I stood in the restaurant’s bushes with a group of giggling friends, watching boy in question look in and then speed away, Janie still sitting there peering out the window expectantly. She hadn’t seen him and she hadn’t seen us. It was devastating.
Nowadays the Internet has grown to such a size that blind dates are a lot less common. Matchmaker websites have replaced the aura of mystery that used to come from set ups, and now instead of your friends arranging the date, your computer does it for you.
One would think that such great technology and convenience would help to take the guesswork out of the dating game. In fact, these sites have become so personalized that you can find a person who not only enjoys fine wine as much as you, but also shares your religious and social beliefs as well. The Internet allows daters to be extremely selective – or does it?
Unfortunately, the Internet with all its smarts and power cannot take the human nature out of the human beings that control it. Which is why everyone using personals sites should be well warned – people can (and do) practice a distinct level of dishonesty on matchmaker sites.
Let’s fast forward to my own online dating experience. Having just broken up with my boyfriend of three years, I was on the rebound and looking for love. I perused a well-known dating site and did the following search: Practicing Christian, brown hair, blue eyes, at least 5′10″. I was thrilled when I found the perfect match in loves2ski, based in my city!
After two weeks of falling in love with loves2ski over email and chat, we agreed to meet. I arrived at the Starbucks and looked around for him. Nobody nearly fit the photos I had, and so I sat down to wait. Almost instantly, a 5′3″ albino (yes, really) came walking toward me, his pink eyes gleaming with excitement.
“Dancer825?”
“Uh, yeah”
“I’m Jake!”
I just looked at him dumbstruck.
“Loves2ski?” he continued, a little unsure now.
In hindsight, I realize I shouldn’t have said what I did next, “Wow, you don’t look anything like your picture.”
“Oh…yeah, it is sort of outdated….”
It was amazing to me how a few years of time passing could change a strapping, dark haired, blue eyed hunk of love into a squatty, pink eyed albino, but I didn’t question it. We had a decent time sipping our Frappachinos and chatting.
And when the date was over, I went home and deleted my personals profile and vowed to never attempt something so ridiculous again.
My point is not that online personals sites are shameful or futile. Many people find true love and happiness on them. In fact, my sister in law is marrying her Match.com catch this winter. However if you are going to peruse these sites, you have to be open-minded and realize that you may not be dealing with completely honest people. My albino lover had created a persona on the net that was nothing close to his true features and personality. And many others out on cyberspace fudge their ages, appearances, and beliefs every day in order to “win over” that special someone.
At the same time, the Internet dating scene allows for the opportunity to get to know people and truly not judge a book by its cover. While many women base their dates solely on looks, many on the Internet get to know each other before pictures are exchanged, leaving room for a stronger, intellectual attraction.
Just be on the look out for those who are being less than genuine. You’ll have to weed through the alcoholics and the “I say I’m 26 but I’m really 56″ types before you find a winner. And if you do find one, it will be worth the effort.
Good luck to you if you are on the search for true love. Just make sure you aren’t basing your choices solely upon “recent” pictures, or you may be in for quite the surprise.
About the author: Tamara Hassinger-Warta is a Northern California based writer who has been published both regionally and nationally. Having graduated from college in 2004, she has since been published in Dance Spirit magazine, Foothill Style magazine, The Davis Enterprise, and is a quarterly contributer to the Natomas Journal, which was recently awarded a Top Three billing by Best of Sacramento magazine. Online, Tamara’s published writing can be found on Lovetoknow.com, Skincare-News.com, Americanblog.org, and Limestart.com. In her spare time, Tamara directs and choreographs for a Christian dance company and loves to travel. She’s trying to hit all of the continents before she is 30. 2 more to go and 4 more years to do it! Obsessed with Disneyland, you can find her often planning her next trip there, or sneaking in a nap at home with her stunt beagle, Scarlett. She currently lives in Sacramento with aforementioned napping partner and her husband of two years.
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